DISSOLVE INTO THE COAST LIKE JOHN WAYNE

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:13:29 GMT

I love to draw, but the thing is, I can go months without sitting down and actually drawing something worthwhile. But tonight I did, and it feels great, except there are now pencil shavings in my mixed drink, my juicy juice and svedka isn't happy about this. i'm also really stoked on target archery, i love it even though lack of armguard gave me that disgusting terrible best bruise of my life (literally everyone who sees it gasps, then proceeds to ask if i was bitten by a vampire.) i think i'll go have a cigarette and then MAYBE get started on some of this work, although I might decide to try and wakeup at 930 so i can do it before class. but everytime i try that i sleep late. WELL THEN. WE'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS!

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 00:11:12 GMT

Lady Gaga is too much.

'Bad Romance' is epically weird and I love it, I can't stop listening. I really need to get tickets to see her in January in the city...

one of her other new songs leaked today.

don't know how i feel about it. i'll keep it on repeat for a while. it's 7:10 on a saturday night and i need to start getting dressed lolz

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:01:50 GMT

i cook way too many grilled cheeses
it's all i really eat

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 05:55:45 GMT

is it weird that i'm having a mid life crisis at age 19

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 00:02:02 GMT

i'm obsessed with lady gaga i worship that woman

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 03:03:57 GMT

I just got off the phone with my father.
Yeah, the father who I haven't heard from or seen since I was about four years old.
He's been sober since 1997. He's living in a tiny house in Copaigue, he's semi-retired, he's a plumber, he told me he loves movies and has pictures of horses all over his house. I told him I was the same way with wolves. He then told me he's getting a siberian husky puppy, and he's going to let me name it.
This is just really strange and overwhelming. I kind of want to cry, but I don't think I will. It's just so insane having this man be in my life now. I have a 35 year old brother, two twenty something year old sisters (both with 3 boys) and god knows how many other relatives.
It's not that I didn't want to see him, or that he didn't want to see me. My mom didn't want him anywhere near me. And I probably turned out better, in the long run, being raised the way I was. But it's still very strange to think of all the things he missed out on in my life. But it's okay now...
I'm meeting him for lunch on Monday. I have so much to do before I go back to school, and this is just another thing I have to worry about. Not that I'm worried too much, but..I mean..whatever.
We talked about how when I was little and Tales from the Crypt would come on I'd always run behind the couch and hide, no matter what. And how he took me to the movie theater for the first time ever to see the Lion King. And how we watched the Jungle Book all day everyday and I knew every line.
It's just really weird and surreal.

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 17:57:58 GMT

mmm i love wine and friends and warm weather, swimming in watering holes.. and hiking up mountains and sleeping under the stars and picking fresh food and cooking it and making delish dinners and smoking good weeeed and listening to good music and laughing
i loved woodstock!

and now i'm in my bed on this yucky day , it's so hot and humid
i think i'm gona start watching the tudors
it's so damn HOT

i cant wait to go back to purchase

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 00:22:14 GMT

i'm an idiot jerk and i hate myself

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 05:35:58 GMT

quick,
i got a job at lids, got really lucky. easy as pie, fun, laid back, bruno comes out friday ziiing, going to red carpet harry potter premiere tomorrow don't know if it'll work out amazingly but we'll see. apparently my dad (who i haven't seen or talked to or heard from in SEVENTEEN YEARS) found my myspace, showed it to some kid who contacted me, etc, weird stuff, i feel weird about it. i feel a little less useless now that i have a job. went out on the boat today, it was beautiful . i love the sun, i wish i wasn't so lazy

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 06:53:41 GMT

The fact that the new Transformers has made such a disgustingly huge amount of money is making me nervous.

What I'm worried about is this effortless kind of film, that's making all this money (and by effortless I mean no effort was put in to make this a solid film, i.e a film that makes it's own rules and follows them) will only open the door to MORE of this kind of stuff. More explosions and characters who lack substance, more films with incoherent plots that are overshadowed by "hot" lead actresses and an epic movie score.
Americans, or maybe just people in general, are essentially lemmings...we don't want to fall behind the pack, but we don't want to be told we want to be part of the pack. That's what we struggle with. We BEG and love and long to be told what to do, buut don't tell us that's what we want.
All I want is for some Hollywood producers to try a little harder. I really don't think it's asking for too much. Bad movies might make a lot of money, but so do great ones.

And I hate the argument, "oh, well it's a movie about robots fighting, based on toys why does it need a plot? it's just mindless entertainment.."

WELL,

If I can have a movie about a guy who puts on a bat suit to fight crime make sense, then Transformers should too. (tdk) If I can have a movie about a billionaire weapons industrialist who flies around in metal armor and shoots laser beams from his palms make sense, then Transformers should too. (iron man) And if I can have a movie about the last robot on earth falling in love with a different robot and getting hurled along through space make sense, then Transformers should too. (walle)

HELL, ALL OF THESE MOVIES MADE MONEY and did NOT compromise the integrity of the film, unlike michael bay's movie.
and what really saddens me is that so many people loved this movie. honestly, it's really fucking sad.

/rant over..

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 07:56:35 GMT

i
love

lady gaga
i don't know how this happened, considering i dislike all female pop vocal artists
but she is SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT! she is fabulous and fashion forward without being conventionally "hot"

whateva, she's awesome and is my new obsession,

it's raining really hard and lightning and thundering ow owwwwww

i never go to sleep until 5 am lately
my sleep pattern at home is so messed up D:

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 04:43:32 GMT

i'm a bitch i'm a lover i'm a stoner i'm a bad person i'm a geek i'm in love

I'm amused.

Tue, 26 May 2009 17:25:14 GMT

I wonder why some girls refuse to grow up. I'm really just curious.

In other news, I still am Star Trek obsessed, I love Phil, and slurpees, and being drunk. I also love driving in my car, and I'm really stoked to see Terminator today because I have so much love for Senor Bale.

Fri, 22 May 2009 04:42:59 GMT

Things I want:
-new gladiator sandals
-that job at the airport in Farmingdale, even if they do have drug tests, because recently I've discovered I'm addicted to celebrities. Not so much the people, but just celebrity news. I don't know what to say about it or how to defend myself. I just don't.
-to see the new Terminator. STAT.
-this headache to go away.
-to get drunk on cheap wine. I hate being home and having to drive everywhere. I love driving in the summer, but it's getting annoying, yanno?
-to see Phil.
-to be less lazy and finish unpacking my shit from school! God.
-people to stop bashing Obama/liberals via facebook statuses, because normally they sound really stupid and I don't think ANY of them know what they are even talking about. In fact, my generation's use of the internet and word of mouth in regards to politics is really dissillusioning me with the whole thing. I don't even want to talk about politics anymore, with barely anyone. God dammit.
-to sleep all day, but I know this won't happen.
-A Digital SLR camera, but I don't have the moniez. So I'm looking to get one that's a step down or very similar, or like an alternative to an SLR.
-a puppy, and a kitty.
-to have like, eight hundred thousand neopoints. Please.
-Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine. ZING!

Star Trek hotties taking over my life as of lately.

live long and prosper

Wed, 13 May 2009 16:03:04 GMT

yeah, cool, i love my bed and everything, it's nice and big. but i feel so idle at home, i don't know what the hell to do with myself. i didn't finish unpacking yet, but it's because i have NO ROOM IN MY ROOM FOR ANYTHING. i have to go to the laundrymat to wash my clothes because theres so many of them. i have TOO MANY CLOTHES. anyway, i guess i'll go jobhunting. if tonight ends up like last night i guess i'll get drunk by myself. no i won't, that's stupid. i just feel weird being home.

p.s, star trek ruled. there are so many good movies coming out this summer i'm stoked!

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 04:45:11 GMT

i'm sitting here with a towel on my head making up a mock interview about modernization of islam but the truth is i don't want to go back to reality!

Culture Shock was so much better than I expected. A two day music festival with drinking and carnival rides and sunshine was absolutely perfect.
I'm finding that I really appreciate things when an event like this takes place- the hot sun on my back, the music even if it's only mediocre, the blankets and girls in nice dresses. Surrounded by my friends all day-when someone would stop at our blanket it was just an accumulation of more and more people, coming and going all day. The grass under my feet, the dirt, just being barefoot in general is a beautiful thing. Climbing trees and being tipsy while eating a snocone , waiting for dusk (two beautiful sunsets, friday and saturday) so that the night can begin- and with it comes more drinking, a new outfit, dancing, lights, loud music, hot messes, roaming, sweating, every little thing I just..drank it all in. It's like it was a totally different world.

Back to reality.

I can still enjoy being barefoot though. I mean, I have so many bruises and my body aches all over but I'm lovin' it.

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:49:49 GMT

i tell it like it is and if i hurt people's feelings and come off as a bitch, hey, whatever.

happy birthday to..

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:58:02 GMT

my favorite lady in the world turns 24 today!

:)

I turn 19 really soon, like, two weeks. eesh.

also, i didn't go to journalism at all this week- i feel like such a bum. i hate eight thirty classes.

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 15:58:43 GMT

I love my big bed, driving my car, and my access to all these nice foods (and slurpees!) all the time...but...I just want to be back at Purchase. That's all.

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 14:24:46 GMT

and to think, i was seriously excited about coming back here??????

i fucking hate my stepdad. i had to come home early last night because i was dreading his wrath. wana know why? because he doesn't like my pet mice.

fuck him. i can't stand him. he keeps giving me reasons to dislike him. i'm really upset. and my mom is really sick this week, she has to give herself these infusions for the MS, so that means I get to hangout with my brother all the time. awesome . not.

and i fucking forgot my ipod converter thing at school. so i cant listen to music in my car without out. pissed.

my curfew is 1 am here. pissed.

i just love being at school SO SO SO much more. i fucking hate this shit.

who do i look like!!?

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 00:59:20 GMT

bored, waiting to go out..kind of sort of stole this from jen...

What celebrity do you think looks like you? What celebrity do other people say you look like?

I know I don't really look like my all time favorite lady in the world but i have this warped way of thinking that I do. The only celebrity people told me I look like is Jessica Biel. and that lady from the Wedding Singer. Her name is Angela Featherstone..although I don't really think so..

me:

Jessica Biel:

keira knightley:

thoughs

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 22:46:04 GMT

I don't really want to go home. I love it here. Bad food and all.
I really, really enjoyed Watchmen. The book and the film.
I dropped my computer and had to get my hard drive replaced. All my movie soundtracks are gone! I'm very upset .
Also, someone had sent me Microsoft Word through a file transfer, since macbooks don't come with them and they're quite expensive..and I don't remember who had sent me it, but it would be absolutely phenomenal if I could get that again somehow.
I'm glad the weather is getting better. I'm still mad at myself for smoking cigarettes, but I've cut down a bit. I really hope to have my car when I come back from spring break. I think too much. Pirates of the Carribean is on, the first one. I love it. It never really gets old. I have to do so much work this week, and laundry too, and I'm really procrastinating. One of my suitemates, who I probably get along with the best here, has a dickhead boyfriend who called me a cunt because he's jealous of our friendship. I hate knowing my friends don't have the backbone to defend themselves or to be walked all over. I love my mice, I need more bedding and food for them.
I am conflicted about telling my boyfriend if I love him or not, partly because I don't know if I do, but I always feel compelled to tell him I do. It's strange. I'm afraid the summer won't be kind to us, since he lives in the city and I feel like we would never have any alone time. I am so insecure it's pathetic and unsettling.
Lee, Melanie, Molly and I applied for on campus apartments next year and got them. I'm beyond happy at the prospect of having my own kitchen and apartment. La la la. I got an A on my first story for my Creative Writing class, and my teacher sent me an email saying he thought I was an extraordinary writer, and that I was so talented, and all this gushy stuff that made me feel great. I really needed that, because at this point in my life I'm terrified that I'm not good at anything. I'm really really scared. I mean, really.

i need to read more

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:32:56 GMT

The BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here.
How do your reading habits stack up?

Instructions:
Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read once. Enter a number for the number of times you read something. Make sure you delete my x'S!

When you've finished, tag 10 people to do it too, and put your total at the bottom. Don't forget to send me your results too!

OK fellow bookworms, let's fight dirty!

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen [xxxXxx~*~] -
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien [ ] (i want to!)
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte [x] <3
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling [x]
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee [x]
6 The Bible- [x]
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte [x]
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell [ ]
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman []
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens [x]
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott [x]
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy []
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller [x]
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare []
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier [x]
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien [x]
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk []
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger [x]
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger []
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot []
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell []
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald [x]
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens [x]
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy []
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams []
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh []
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky [x]
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck []
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll [x]
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame []
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy []
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens []
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis [x] <3!
34 Emma - Jane Austen [x]
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen [x] lovelovelove
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis [x]
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini [x]
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres []
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden [x]
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne []
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell [x]
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown [x]
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez []
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins []
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery []
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy []
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood []
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding []
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan [x]
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel [x]
52 Dune - Frank Herbert [x] yes!
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons []
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen [x]
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth []
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zifon []
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens []
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley []
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon []
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez []
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck [x]
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov []
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt []
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold []
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas [x]
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac []
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy []
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding [] ew
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie []
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville []
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens []
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker []
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett []
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson []
75 Ulysses - James Joyce [x]
76 The Inferno - Dante [x]
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome []
78 Germinal - Emile Zola []
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray []
80 Possession - AS Byatt []
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens [x]
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell []
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker []
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro []
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert []
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry []
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White [x]
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom []
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle []
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton []
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad [x] (i tried so hard to like this book)
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery [x]
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks []
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams [xxx]
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole [x]
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute []
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas []
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare [x]
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factoy - Roald Dahl []
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo [x]

Total: 40

damn i wish i had more time to read more books. fuck!!

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 00:55:53 GMT

i love wine

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 16:01:45 GMT

i love classical music so much!!!! i wish i could just
BE a piece of music

...you know?

this stuff never ceases to make me crazy. in a great way.